Gifts That Fell Off The Back Of The Truck

…while it didn’t happen too often.

There was the odd ‘free gift’ that fell off the back of my dad’s truck.

One of those was a tracksuit my father gave me.

‘It’s like one of those shellsuits,’ he remarked.

I opened the plastic bag and ran my hand over the rubber suit. ‘That’s definitely not a shellsuit.’

‘It’ll be fine, you can wear it for running around the fields.’

Knowing I was never going to wear it, I put it on just to show him how bad it looked.

‘Where’s the zips? And why are the cuffs and waist so tight?’

‘Run up and down there….and see what it’s like.’

After a few seconds, I could feel myself start to sweat like crazy, due to the lack of air holes.

‘Well?’

I looked over the rubber suit, and finally realized what I was wearing.

‘Do you know what this is?’

‘What?’

‘It’s a flaming sweatsuit that boxers wear to lose water weight.’

‘Oh yeah, it is, but sure you’ll get some use out of it.’ He remarked and walked away. ‘It was either this or a pair of football gloves.’

‘This, or a pair of football gloves?’ I shook my head in disbelief. ‘And you thought I’d want this?’

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That was the last ‘gift’ that fell off the truck….because I was so ungrateful. – Thank God.